SOMETHING YOU SHOULDN'T READ
by rankiribe
Summary: This WORST fic decribes what will happen if Gash want to make a band. It is something not worthy for your eyes to laid on. A great story, it isn't.
1. The Members

**SOMETHING YOU SHOULDN'T READ**

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Gash Bell. But I want to! Why couldn't I? Tell me Shogakukan!

**Author's Notes:** If you read my fic _A REALLY WEIRD STORY_, though I doubt you do, this is **NOT **the oneshot I mentioned at the chapter 5. The oneshot is about Disgaea. I try to do my best doing this fic. _A REALLY WEIRD STORY _will be put on hiatus until I got a lot of ideas.

**Chapter One**

**The Formation of the Band.**

"Why am I doing this again?" Ask a white-haired mamono with a white-haired clothes and purple eyes named Zeon. He has been told to come to Kiyomaro's house this morning, and found himself inside a room filled with a drum set, two guitars, and two microphones doesn't seem to please him. It get worse that Gash asked Zeon and Dufo to form a band with him and Kiyomaro.

"Well, please bear with it. Gash has been crazed over making bands after he hear a song from my father. The band is…I don't remember…Rolling…" Kiyomaro stuttered a little, before Dufo cut him.

"Rolling Stones. An english rock and roll band formed in early 1960s. In their 1969 American tour, the band was often referred to as 'the Greatest Rock and Roll Band in the World. The first members are Mick Jagger as vocals, Brian Jones as the lead guitar, harmonica, and vocals, Keith Richards as the rhythm guitar and vocals, Ian Stewart as the piano player, Dick Taylor as the bass, and various drummers such as Mick Avory, Tony Chapman, and Carlo Little. This band's current member is Mick Jagger as lead vocals and harmonica, Keith Richards as…What's wrong?" Said Dufo, before shot by a confused sight of the other three people. Wrong! Make it ONE human and TWO mamonos.

"I don't know you know about Rolling Stones!" Said Kiyomaro.

"I don't know that you know something that much!" Said Zeon.

"I don't know you could speak more than 10 words at once!" Said Gash, once again receiving a glare from Zeon.

"How could you know about those? I never ever seen you hear a song! Or sing them! Or smiling!" Ask Dufo, frantically.

"I have fourteen years of life you don't know about, Zeon." Said Dufo as he bring his mind back to his childhood. Decided that it was unfit to his usual personality, he bring back his usual face and usual silence.

"That's better." Said Zeon, as he sit down on the floor.

"Well…Kiyomaro! What should we do now?" Ask Gash while jumpin up and down; you would not need to be a genius to see that Gash is excited. Dufo try his best to hide his same feelings as Gash, but Zeon's sharp insticts give it away.

"I think…we should decide who gonna doing what. Anyone wants to be what?" Ask Kiyomaro as he see the other three. They stay silent, until Zeon raises his hand.

"What spot are there?" As Zeon asks, Dufo snapped out of it, and while pointing to Zeon, says: "There are vocals, who sings, bass, who plays bass, of course, there are drummer, who from the name you could know playing drums, and many other! Bands usually have members who is both bass and vocals, or drummer and…"

Dufo stop his words. He could not hide his embarassment as he sit on the floor, back to the other three people who could not stop staring at him.

"You're uncool…" Said Kiyomaro, eyes still staring…

"You're _TOO_ uncool…" Said Zeon, eyes still staring…

"Is it time for dinner?" Said Gash, eyes still staring……….at the clock.

"You has eaten three people worth of snacks five minutes ago!" Said Kiyomaro, eyes glaring at the hungry Gash Bell. Upon this, Zeon sweatdropped.

"Zeon?" Ask Gash. Dufo, saw this chance to return back all the embarassment he got for his abnormal knowledge about music and reverse personality regarding bands, poke Zeon before saying,

"You are hungry, right? After all those ten-people-worth of snacks you eat on the way here?" As those words are spoken, Zeon stand up, face in a deep shade of red, try his best to close Dufo's mouth.

"SHUT UP! IT WAS NOT TRUE! I AM NOWHERE LIKE GASH!" Screamed Zeon in panic, as he was afraid to let out his secret. Dufo was just backing away from Zeon's frantic hand. Be careful as possible not to let his conciousness say Zakeru. It would not be pleasant.

"Dufo and Zeon are different…" Said Kiyomaro as he sweatdropped on the sight.

"Who wants to be the vocals? The one who sings?" Ask Kiyomaro. Upon this question, Zeon, Dufo, and Gash raise their hands. Both Gash and Dufo look at him with sparkly (no, not the normal 'sparkly', 'anime'-sparkly) eyes, while Zeon just determined to beat Gash in everything (that would explain his incredible appetite) he could do. Sadly, Zeon could not beat Gash in three points: Gash's optimism, Gash's incredible childish-ness, and the third thing I never thought. Anyone of you wanna suggest?

"I cannot decide…We would need a judge…" Said Kiyomaro, stop in track just to hear another voice from **outside**.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I am here to share you my knowledge! I know everything, from Rolling Stones to a village named 'A', I know everything! My name is Nazo Nazo Hakase!" Said the man with blue cape and his trademark long and sharp nose as he smashed Kiyomaro's door open with a kick.

"ZAKERU!"

Soon the entire scene shifted into two young humans with two young mamonos AND one fried fries…what the hell…AND one fried Nazo Nazo Hakase. This would probably be a lesson to him: "Never break anyone's door."

"So, three of you guys want to be the singer and you are searching for an excellent judge?" Ask Nazo Nazo Hakase (I hate long names. Can I call him, Nazo? "You may not, rankiribe") as he let out this god-knows-from-where knowledge. Zeon, Dufo, and Gash nodded.

"I'll be the judge, so you don't end up with singer as bad as fudge!" Said Nazo Nazo Hakase (please? Can I call you Nazo? "NO WAY IN THE HELL!") as he stand up and began singing. This brings various responses:

Kiyomaro : "Would Zakeruga be good?"

Gash : "Hey! It rhymes!"

Zeon : "Dufo, prepare a Jigadirasu Uru Zakeruga"

Dufo : "Isn't that song 'We Will Rock You' by Queens?"

But, as it is what I want, they decided to chose the vocals by a competition. Gash, Dufo, and Zeon, in that order, are gonna sing one song each. They may chose whatever the song is. While one competitor sing, the other two and two judges (Kiyomaro and Nazo Nazo Hakase) will judge them. Those who able to impress the spectators the most will be chosen Vocals.

Gash's turn. He is singing 'I Can't Get No Satisfaction' from Rolling Stones, obviously his favorite song, but…it was different. He is singing it in LOUD, and I mean LOUD, falsetto voice, and few lines he didn't get by hearing alone, he replaced it as he wants. The judge's comments:

Kiyomaro : "You call that singing?"

Dufo : "When will you began to sing? After all that coughing?"

Nazo Nazo Hakase : "You are unbalanced in many points. You sing in falsetto, you swapped the lines, changing them. You cannot keep the intonation on your voice, unable to change in the flow of emotions within the song. You are unfit to be the vocals"

Zeon : "ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING!"

Dufo's turn. As he preparing his pose, Kiyomaro sweated. That pose was familiar. It was the pose of…Kiyomaro's could not process the horrific memories. Then Dufo began to sing…

_Chichi chichi oppai! (boing, boing!)………_

And so on and so forth. The comments :

Kiyomaro : "………….."

Gash : "Wait a minute! That song sounds familiar…Is it 'Chichi wo Moge' sung by Folgore?"

Nazo Nazo Hakase : "Do you requests for comments? You singing was good, the intonation fits, you also following the flow of the song quite good. But…That song just don't match your looks…"

Zeon : "You began to embarrass me, Dufo. What kind of fg song is that?"

"Well, it was SHORT" Answer Dufo.

Zeon's turn. As the song pass by, Zeon's specific voice follows along…

_Ashita he tsuzuku sakamichi no tochuu de_

_Surechigau otona tachi ha tsubuyaku no sa_

"_Ai toka yume toka risou mo wakanu kedo_

_Me no mae no genjitsu wa sonna ni amaku nai" tte_

_Tsumazuki nagara mo korogari nagara mo_

_Kasabuta darake no jyounetsu wo wasuretaku nai_

_Otona ni narenai bokura no_

_Tsuyogari wo hitotsu kiite kure_

_Nige mo kakure mo shinai kara_

_Waraitai yatsu dake warae_

_Semete tayori nai bokura no_

_Jiyuu no me wo tsumitoranai de_

_Mizu wo ageru sono yakume wo_

_Hataseba iindarou? _

It was Kasabuta, the opening song of Gash Bell. This does not bring failure.

Kiyomaro : "It was a nice song. You sing it nicely."

Gash : "Yeah! You are good!"

Nazo Nazo Hakase : "You have feelings toward the lyrics of this song, aren't you? You singing it with emotions fit into the song, and your intonations does not sway. There are nothing more I could say that you are the best candidate for the vocals."

Dufo : "Alright"

Upon this 'judgement', a word which in here means 'something that takes awful lot of space, usually used by stupid authors named rankiribe to prolong his awful fic while on the other hand he already decided who will what', Zeon are chosen to be the vocals. Man, my definition of judgement is long!

"Well, looks like we got ourselves a singer…" Said Kiyomaro as he closing his ears against Zeon's prideful laugh, "We should move to the next. Who want to play the bass?"

Both Gash and Dufo raise their hand. Kiyomaro also raise his hand. He cannot sing good, so he decided to be a bass instead. Zeon and Nazo Nazo Hakase, who keeps irritating me to the last vein of anger by not letting me call him Nazo, will be the judge.

Note : I DON'T KNOW HOW TO PLAY BASS OR ITS COUNTERPARTS.

Kiyomaro's turn. Even though Kiyomaro knows the location of the keys, how to do them, by lack of training, he could not do good. As the music notes passing and passing, it is not seldom he produces jarring sounds. For a newbie, he wasn't bad.

Gash's turn…It was too horrific to describe. Let's just say after the first five minutes, anyone who hearing for longer will spent their remaining life time being deaf. There was nothing worse than Gash's attempt at playing guitar. He SUCKS.

Dufo's turn. He continue to surprise even Nazo Nazo Hakase. The notes played by him flow like drops of water on a river, it flows like it should be. No jarring sound, no delay, and no mismatches. It was perfect. The rythm is perfect.

Dufo chosen as the lead bass, he also a singer. Kiyomaro is the second bass player. Gash are dumped into the trash can…Just kidding. He was dumped into the river. Done deal.

"KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMAAAAAAROOOOOOOOO!" Screamed Gash as he carried along the fast streams of the river. Just Kidding. He is not dumped. Now the remains of the group are discussing what role will Gash plays.

"Not to worry!"

Gash then let out his favorite toy. "Vulcan will do the singing for me!"

"Look here Gash…It's not like Vulcan will do any good…" Kiyomaro shuts up his voice. Gash bringing something weird. Something he's sure is his specialty.

The music props is two long sticks, as long as Gash's height, carry about ten or so Vulcan on it. On a closer look, each Vulcan has different attire. A fixed set of them carries familiar stuffs, though. There's a set of three Vulcans with mouth made by acorn seeds. Another set of three reveals a stone-made hands. With a simple wiggle on the staff, an unique sound is made. By doing various motions Kiyomaro describes as 'when you realize you want to pee so badly' on the sticks, an unique melody with its own unique rhythm appears. With another set of motion, the prop could produce the rhythm on Blues-type songs. Another one reveal a Jazz rhythm.

"I could produce various sounds with this!" Said Gash, as he shows his unusual music props to the other, "I practice using this a lot with Umagon as my spectator. It sounds disgustng at first. After the first try, Umagon is never seen again hearing my play, only Tio."

Meanwhile, at Umagon and Kafka Sunbeam's house…

"Umagon!"

"Umagon! Could you come here?"

"Umagon! I'm calling you!"

"Umagon?"

"Oh My GOD! You're DEAF! So GROOVY!"

Back at Kiyomaro's house…

"So, it is decided!" Said Kiyomaro as he shows the line up to the other four people:

Zeon : The singer

Dufo : The lead bass and the singer

Kiyo : The second bass

Gash : The unique. (Gash says it was Vulcanica)

Nazo : Drummer

"Hey! Who told you that you could call me Nazo?" Ask Nazo Nazo Hakase, deeming an explanation. Kiyomaro pointing to me.

And thus, the band was formed. The songs are not yet made, the appearance is not even thought by me, and I never found a good name! But anyway, the band was made.

**Author's Notes**: All references to the Rolling Stones is from Wikipedia. I also seek for a good band name. Review please! And within each review, please suggest the band's name! Or a song you made by your own you want to put here. This WORST fic still got a lot to do. And yeah, _A REALLY WEIRD STORY_ is on hiatus.


	2. The 1st Song

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Gash bell, gladly. NOT! WHY couldn't I own Gash Bell? WHY, god?"

**Aurhor's Notes: **Okay, the second chapter. This chapter will discuss about Gash's band (whose names I haven't think about yet) making their first few songs. If you have a song that you made by your own, you can put it in your review. Maybe I will put it here. Yeah, I realize that there are a lot of grammar and spelling mistakes on the first chapter.

**Chapter 2**

**The Songs Were Made.**

After the band was formed, their task for the day is over. Zeon and Dufo are off to the wild worlds to kill off some cowboys (wait, isn't that in wild WEST?) along with their mysterious companions whose names I never thought. Nazo Nazo Hakase is back to his usual house in England (is it? I make it myself) to annoy some more youngsters and fried some more. Gash and Kiyomaro return to their home…wasn't they there already?

"Gash, why do you name your music prop, Vulcanica?" Ask Kiyomaro while he took few bombs from their refrigerator…of course not, you dumbass! He took few burgers he had kept there for three centuries. Now that a bit reasonable.

"Well, because it's a harmonica made by Vulcans!" Said Gash with his oh-my-god-why-it-shines-so-bright smile. That was a simple reason, isn't it?

See anything wrong with Gash's reason? No? Me too.

"Gash…harmonica produce sounds by blowin' on them. Your Vulcanica doesn't…"

"Really? So, does Megumi make sound by YOU on top of he…r…?" OOOPSS! BACKSPACE BACKSPACE BACKSPACE! No lime or whatsoever here!

"How did you know that, Gash? Come back here! GASH!" Said Kiyomaro as they chase each other in their house. To outsiders (or stalkers or something like that), this would seem like a brotherhood-romantic scene between brothers. Yeah, I would think like that, it only Kiyomaro isn't wearing that scary face of his. Can I make it too? Let's try…

"…Warning, people. Do not _BEND_ your fang to a CURVE like this stupid author. Now let's trash him to the trashcan. Agreed?"

Well, I can hear everyone from far away said, "Agreed!"

Now I spend my night writing stories with laptop _inside_ a trash can. Man! It smells here! Hey, is that burgers?

After the moon hath passed its beautiful light, glittering in the middle of dark night…all right, stop this kind of languange. After eight hours of sleep, sun finally take over moon after piledriving him into submission. There are so many marks on moon's face because he always loses against sun in wrestling.

Cool! New scientific theory! blasted by the scientist such as Albert Einstein, Isaac Newton, Elvis Presley…is Elvis a scientist? Beats me

The band's members are gathered. Here is what they brought:

Dufo: A stack of boxes. It is very probable contain lot of music discs on it. While on closer research, it reveal corpses of cowboys they killed yesterday. Oh yeah, and the silver book too!

Zeon: Another stack of boxes. While it is VERY probable contain corpses of the cowboys, it was not. It contains a lot, and I mean, A LOT of snacks. It will take ten days for ten men to eat.

"It's enough for a day"

Nazo Nazo Hakase: Bringing nothing but a black outfit that covers his entire body. Hey, does the outfit smells a little like charcoal?

"Those youngsters sure know how to light a fire…"

Gash: Vulcanica, Vulcan, and FEW snacks. Yes, it is FEW. It will only take two days for ten men to eat. What the hell?

Kiyomaro: The red book. And some music books. So far, he is the owner of the most normal things.

"Well, shouldn't we begin this already?" Ask Kiyomaro to…hey, who he's asking to?

"YOU, DAMNIT!" Oh sorry. Let us begin it.

Well, after they formed the lineup on the previous day, or should I say, previous chapter, they decide that their work today is to make few songs. About one or two songs. For it, Kiyomaro suggest for those who has written the song to show it to the other members.

"I have one! I have one!" Said Gash, showing the small bits of paper on his hand. Zeon are displeased by this, as he aims to be the one who beats Gash at everything. His dismay turns to delight as soon as he sees the song…

_**Fleas (**the title)_

_Adam_

_Had 'em_

"That's it?"

"That's it." Said Gash with his usual smile.

"Zeon…please…" Said Kiyomaro, standing quite far away from Gash.

"ZAKERU!"

Would Gash look cool in black dress?

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! GASH! YOU ARE WORTHLESS! YOUR SONG SUCKS SO MUCH! YOU SHOULD GO KISS…"

"Do you make your own song?" This question shuts Zeon up.

"Well, here we are, stuck to making song…" Said Kiyomaro as he become depressed. That changes when Zeon offer him a piece of paper, while saying, "This be far better than Gash's. I promise!"

Kiyomaro read it.

_**I AM LORD**_

_You stupid mortals!_

_Bow before me!_

_For I am Zeon_

_Your king, your Excellency!_

_Those who smiled,_

_Those who laughed,_

_Prepare to be fried,_

_For I am Lord!_

_Hahahahahahah_

_Hahahahahahaha_

_You suck, you dumb, you fg stupid!_

_Your only talent is to dump st!_

_Bow before me, for I am Zeon!_

_Your Immortal lord!_

The paper was stepped on, shot by Gash's Zakeru, stepped on by Nazo ("I told you! You cannot call me Nazo!"), spitted by Dufo ("I would never do such a thing! What's a spit?"), and lastly, but not least, dumped into the trashcan, where I will eat it. Uuum…tasty!

Continue then. Where were we? Ah…the paper. Zeon does not take the actions done to his paper lightly. As dark sparks of energy start to…what it's called…_sparkling_ from the bottom of his cloth to the top of his cloth, his stare is fixed to Kiyomaro and his mamono partner. Why can't I just say, 'on his whole cloth?'

"Dufo…" With this command, Dufo took his silver book. Kiyomaro quickly grab his red book tightly, and both books began to shine.

"ZAKERUGA!"

"ZAKERU!"

Try to guess who said what. Both of the mamono and their partners continue to fire their own thunder spells. Nazo Nazo Hakase just spends few hours of chaos by eating French fries.

"Why is it called 'French fries' if I buy it on America? Shouldn't the name be, 'American Fries'?" After realizing that 'American fries' sounds stupid, Nazo Nazo Hakase chose to shut up his lousy mouth.

After ten years…oh what the heck…After ten _minutes_ that felt like ten years, except to Nazo Nazo Hakase, who felt it like ten minutes, the chaos subsided. Yet silence arose. Zeon stay still on silence, so is Gash. Is Gash capable of silence? Oh well. Kiyomaro sighted that Dufo writes something on a piece of paper.

"What are you writing?"

"That is none of your bussiness."

"Oh come on! Let me see it!"

And on the paper such words were written:

_Dear,  
_

_You don't know me, yet I do know you. Your eyes spark brightly as my heart melts on the sight of it. You don't know me, you don't need to. I love you deep, yet you don't feel the same. _

_Such voice you spoken from those beautiful lips, for my lowly ears be good enough to hear it, once it hears, no more sounds except your voice it rings back. Oh, how sad I found, your heart already someone's to bound. It is really for the best; let me stay away from you, from east to west._

_Love You Dearly, Dufo_

As the last letter is read, everyone spend their 5 minutes of life laughing; except of course, Dufo, whose vein has make a crossroad on his forehead. He is not happy.

"Love letter, Dufo? WAHAHAHAHAHA!" Nazo Nazo Hakase continues to laugh like there are no tomorrow for him. It is. There shall be no tomorrow is he keep laughing his ass off. And oh yeah, his ass will be off too.

"'I love you deep'! HAHAHAHAHAHA! Since when you start to be able to understand such vocabulary? Oh, my stomach!" Laughed Zeon. He has not realized what doom he bringing himself into…

"The 'D' from 'Dearly' is capital! HUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Gash is laughing at one thing I don't found funny. He has such weird sense of humour.

"HAHA…HA...HA...HAA...HA.Who's this letter for?" Ask Kiyomaro, still run out of breath from laughing for five minutes non-stop. Dufo saw this as a chance to counter the embarassment. Too bad, he chooses the wrong word…

"It's for Megumi…"

"TEOZAKERU!"

Hey, would Dufo look cool in black hair? No? DAMN it!" Better make it white again. paint paint paint paint paint paint

"No one has the right to…" Kiyomaro stopped. Saying such 'vulgar' things in front of two 9-year old mamono would not be good, even if those two 9-year old were able to bring a giant whose height twice the Everest down.

"Hey, why don't we make the words in this love letter into our song?" Suggests Nazo Nazo Hakase. Man, he takes my line! Damn you!

"Hey, that's not half bad! Let's do it!"

So the lines were:

_You don't know me, yet I know you, _

_Your eyes spark so brightly,_

_My hearts melt on the sight of it._

_You don't know me, you don't need to,_

_For my love, be pure and deep._

_Those voices your lips made,_

_To those very voice my love spark,_

_Your healing power, be it magical or logical,_

_So deep the admiration yet was Love it actually be._

_Repeat  
_

_Sing  
_

_Repeat  
_

_Sing  
_

_You don't know me. I do know you._

_I love you deeply, you love somebody,_

_Such facts I found, you heart I cannot be bound,_

_Yet for you to be happy, my hearts will stay like it be._

_Repeat above _

"Now we need to make the title…" Gash's question was unneeded. The title was obvious.

"The title is, '**You Don't Know Me'**" Dufo smiles, as his works finally be appreciated, not as a joke material.

"Shouldn't we try this song out?" Suggests Dufo.

As the Jazz rhythym made from Vulcanica began to fill the air, higher notes began to spurt from Kiyomaro's guitar. After few minutes, Nazo Nazo Hakase's drum voice filled, completely dominating the sound from Vulcanica and Kiyomaro's guitar. Then Zeon's heavy sound began to flow, along with Dufo's perfect melody. From those two, Vulcanica repeats his Jazz rhythym, only this one was louder. After four minutes of Jazz rhythym and Zeon's heavy voice, they finally make the rough steps on how the song will be sung.

Finally! The band members were done, their first song done! I should move along to the point where Gash introduces their band to Gash's friends! Yeah!

"Uummm….We don't have a name yet…"

Damn.

**Author's Notes**: Okay, spend your time throwing rotten stuffs at me for the inappopriate is-it-supposed-to-be-funny jokes, the corny song, and the crappy ending. Truly, I never thought about the band's name! Please, reviewers, suggest the band's name! I beg you! Thanks for the reviewers for the first chapter! I hope this is good enough!

**End Notes**: What is this supposed to mean? 'Fleas' do exist. It is called the shortest poem ever. Just to those who don't know, although I doubt there be any. Yeah, the story and the title don't fit. Sorry!


	3. The Name Part 1

**SOMETHING YOU SHOULDN'T READ **

**Looks like I forgot to write this title in chap 2…**

**Disclaimer**: Alright, no whining. I don't own Gash Bell and everything on it. (Cries)

**Author's Notes** : The third chapter. Because I don't even have a clue about the name of the band ("But you are the author!" Said Gash) and I have few stuffs that is not connected at all to the story, the band's naming will take two chapters.

**Chapter III**

**The Naming of the Band, Part One:**

**It's Supposed to be 'Chaos before (and on) the Meeting'**

I never guess I could find a title for three chapters straight. I am good! Well, to the story. No offense to pirate-lovers.

**In Braziel (a/n: **No offense to Brazilians, as I make the name coz I don't know what Brazil looks like)

_Oh come on you silly one,_

_I come up and you come down,_

_I blast you with a thundershock,_

_I fill you up with thunderbolts,_

"ZAKERUGA!" Spoke Dufo as he read the spell aloud. A straight blast of lighting shot from Zeon's hands, passing the big, black cannonball (is there a white cannonball?) and exploded to sparks of powerful lightning upon contact with the mast.

"Captain!"

"Don't be afraid me matey! Charge!"

_Yeah, it was all chaotic, it was,_

_As I shot around and blast, _

_You screamed all, yeah you did,_

_I wonder if I could drop you on a pit._

"Damn, Dufo, they tougher than the others! Prepare stronger spells!" Dufo nodded, and both of them jumped from a cliff.

"JAURO ZAKERUGA!"

A big ring of blue electricity, or was it white? Anyway, the big ring spawned lots and lots of Zakeruga blasts and directed it towards the ship. After the contact and explosion, the ship was battered, possibly beyond repair.

"Captain!"

"Ugh, so strong, them are! Charge with all your might, matey!"

_So here I am, up here,_

_While there you are, down there,_

_After all those thundershocks and thunderbolts,_

_Who would fancy a few more jolts?_

"JIGADIRASU URU ZAKERUGA!" An entity made from electricity appeared from thin air. The entity sparks strength as it charging thunder energy. The entity has a big cannon on the middle…damn it! Just look on it at Wikipedia! Soon, an enormous blast of thunder erupted from the middle of the entity to the ship, completely annihilating it.

"Hahahahahahaha! We did it, Dufo!"

"WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS, MY FRIEND…" Dufo spent his remaining life singing. Of course not!

"Dufo, I have a question…"

"What?"

"Why are the pirates on Braziel anyway?"

Again, no offense to Brazilians. No offense to the pirates too.

**In England (Or is it British? Or English? Oh damnit…)**

_So here I am, standing in here,_

_Acting as if I am a seer,_

_When in fact I am not,_

_But my fun was just begin to rot!_

"ZAGADARISU!"

Nazo Nazo Hakase just comfortably dodges the spinning blast of light. He then dances in place.

"Come on, is that all you can do with your book?"

"Shut up! You don't even have your mamono anymore!"

"So? I could beat you up even without Kid!"

_Yeah, you leave me alone,_

_With a lot of jobs still undone,_

_Yet you stay in heart, _

_As I can still hear your beat._

"Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! You sure re stupid boy, you re!" Oh, wht hppened? No! The dmn keybord! I will buy better keybord next time!

"Damn it! We need stronger spells! But the book still doesn't spawn any new spells yet!"

"Oh, you think the book produces spells? Silly you!"

"It doesn't?"

_The knowledge that I possess,_

_Never ever shall regress,_

_Knowledge, wisdom, the same,_

_Yet it was all that left for me to blame._

"Answer my riddle, and you shall know an important skill!" Said Nazo Nazo Hakase

"What is it?"

"He is black, yet he is red…"

"And?"

"Why is it named French Fries?"

"WHAT THE HELL? AMAGIDARUSU!" Nazo Nazo Hakase dodges another big hand of energy. Have he dodge one before? Who cares?

"Of course! You cannot answer! You have a frigglewistymistlybist of a mother anyway!"

"WHAT? NO ONE MOCKS MY MOTHER! GEGAZEGARU ASHU ROGUDURUSU!" A big, big, gigantic, humongous, so-big-it-was-so-boring-to-describe ball of light. Nazo Nazo Hakase knows he could not dodge this one…

"Haha" It was the last word could be heard from Nazo Nazo Hakase. Rest in peace, Nazo…

"WHO TOLD YOU THAT YOU COULD CALL ME NAZO?" Oh my god! He wakes up from the graveyard! Cool!

"Now, where is the audition place for 'Land of the Dead?"

After Nazo Nazo Hakase just asked the director to make him an actor at Land of the Dead 4, the book master whose name I haven't thought asked to his mamono, Aroth.

"What does frigglewistymistlybist means anyway?"

**In Japan**

"Gash? What's wrong?"

"Nah, I just feel that somewhere, two people are doing a lot of stupid stuffs."

"Say that after you're done strangling Sadako. He's paid to come out from the TV, you know."

"Thhhaaaatt'sss…rrrrriiigggghhtttt…rrreeellleeeaaaasssseee…mmmeee…" Sadako doing his best to release Gash's strangle. Since when did Gash learn how to strangle? And from who?

**Somewhere I don't and you don't have to care…**

"What's wrong Tio?" Ask Megumi, whom just done writing a love letter to a certain someone: me. Man, I have to stop being narcisstic. KIYOMARO FORGIVE ME!

"I just have the urge to say…I DID! THREE WEEKS AFTER FAUDO!"

**Back to Japan**

"Hmmm….I feels like I don't need an answer now…"

"Alright, now to the next customer…Megumi…" Said Sadako as he withdraws to the well inside the TV. Who is boring enough to live in a well?

"Uumm…Sadako's a she." GHOST HAS GENDERS?

So, after a big blast of Teozakeru for Sadako for trying to scare Megumi, all was peaceful again. Now all they have to do is to wait for their band members to come. In waiting, they decided to watch 'Land of the Dead'

"Hey! Nazo's in here!"

**After the 'Land of the Dead'**

"Let's watch 'Stranger beside Me'"

**After the 'Stranger beside Me'**

"Let's watch 'Terminator'"

**After the 'Terminator'**

"Let's watch 'Pirates of the Carribean'"

**Guys?**

**After the 'Pirates of the Carribean'**

"Let's watch 'Robocop' next"

**Oy guys!**

**Do you realize each one of the movies cost about two hours?**

"Yeah, so?"

**So you guys have spent four times two hours, eight hours!**

"And?"

……**.You don't realize it yet? **

"OH CRAP! I FORGOT MY DATE WITH MEGUMI!"

**Not that…**

"OH CRAP, I FORGOT TO EAT!"

**Not that too…**

"So what is it?

**Dufo and the others has waited in front of your door four hours ago, you idiot! Haven't you heard the knocking? The laugh? The crunch of the pipes?**

"Uumm…You realize those sounds are on the movie we're watching?"

**No, I don't. Now take Dufo and Zeon and Nazo Nazo Hakase here!**

"But why they come four hours late?"

**Who do you think watch 'Bionicle' and who do you think watch 'The Three Muskeeters'?**

"TEOZAKERU!"

_**Hey! I am the new narrator! So, they gathered on Kiyomaro's room.**_

Alright, time to discuss what things they brought upon this meeting.

Dufo: Stack of boxes. Corpses of pirates. Get the idea?

Zeon: Snacks, snacks, and SNACKS. Damn him.

Nazo Nazo Hakase: TWO thick books entitled 'How to Annoy People with Power for Expert' and 'An International Mocking Dictionary'

"So, Frigglewistymistlybist is just a gibberish from freak, weak, meek, hctib (read it backwards) Cool gibberish languange!"

Gash: Sadako.

Sadako: A king-sized bed. A DVD of 'F.R.I.E.N.D.S: COMPLETE SEASON ONE'

Kiyomaro : The red book. Looks like he is mad for some reason.

"So, what is our meeting about?" Ask Zeon. He is mad that Sadako decides to linger around Gash, not him. Geez, can Zeon notice Gash's hand on Sadako's extended neck?

"We have to decide a name. Anyone here suggest any?"

Gash lifts his hand.

"Anyone?"

Gash lifts his hand, now he's even standing.

"No one?"

Gash is now jumping up and down while swinging his lifted hand left and right.

"So…no one huh? Alright…Gash…what's your idea?"

"How about…"

"Anyone opposes?"

Everyone lifts their hand.

"How about…"

"Alright, Gash's suggestion rejected. Anyone else?"

Gash is silent. Any of you can guess the reason. If you can't, then you're not 'any of you'

Dufo lifts his hand. In the previous two meetings, he is the first to suggest something good. This time, he might repeat his skill.

"How about…."

**Author's Notes:** Well, cliffhanger. That's why I said it will be divided in two parts. The title and the story really don't fit. No chaos before the meeting, the meeting itself is just the beginning. Please, I fyou want this story to continue, I need to know what you're thinking about this fic. So review please! If you want to flame, please make it as nice as possible. If you want to scam, DON'T.

**Second Diclaimer**: Gash and his friends belong to Makoto Raiku. Any use of the word frigglewistymistlybist is forbidden by the law. Anyone who claim to seen Sadako strangled before may report to Merciless Murder and Torture Temperaments to Good Ghost office. Extended neck is the standard procedure of Tio-hanging.


	4. The Name Part 2

**SOMETHING YOU SHOULDN'T READ**

**Author's Notes**: Alright, I have to reply the reviews. Please note that the reply is as honest as possible. So if you are offended, I am really, really sorry. Here goes:

**Rykun**: What does O.O' means? I am sorry. But I really don't know! OO is surprised, but O.O' is one face I do not understand! Once again, I am really sorry.

**The Reviewer**: 1) I am really aware of that. I will do my best. 2) Because 'SOMETHING YOU SHOULDN'T READ IF YOU DON'T HAVE ENOUGH PATIENCE AGAINST (POSSIBLY) BAD FIC' sounds stupid and takes too much space. 3) Sorry about this. But it is necessary! Well, I try to keep it down. 4) I'm not sure about this problem. I have to check again. And oh yes, if you are not satisfied by 2), then this is the alternate answer: 2) I just like to downgrade me and my creations. Don't ask why. I don't even know.

**miracle eye**: for 'fg', please add 5 asterisks between them. For the 'st', add two. Other than that, I will try my best to _not_ do it again. Anyway, is 'toke' the same as 'take' or is it the same as 'took'?

**Sarah303**: What 'them'? The band? What Gash's talents have to do with the name of the band? I am really sorry if this offends you.

**Chapter 4**

**The Naming of the Band, Part Two:**

**Well, You Got the Name. What Else?**

Alright, I am really stuck about titles by the time I am writing. Sorry. To the story.

"How about…."

Everyone was intense. It was so intense that Kiyomaro is sweating a lot. It was so intense that Zeon that was supposedly cool and collected is standing, tapping his fingers impatiently on the table. It was so intense that Nazo Nazo Hakase, who keep saying that I can't call him Nazo, run around in panic and screaming 'Hamina, hamina, hamina' all over Kiyomaro's house. Now what those have to do with it?

"Twin Pillars?"

Everyone fell, anime-style. They would do it anime-style because doing it real life-style is greatly embarrassing. Cliché.

"Why? Why do you suggest that name?" Ask Kiyomaro, unsure whether he will eat jelly or fruits for appetizer later for dinner. You would realize there is no connection between those.

"Because our pillars are twins." Answer Dufo. He is sure that jelly is better for appetizer than fruits. Fruits should only be dessert. Alright, this is going nowhere…

"What pillars?" Ask Gash. Could he release his hands from Sadako's neck? No? Too bad…

"Well, the first pillar, the one who has the idea on making this band, Gash, is an identical twin to Zeon, who is our vocal and leader, therefore, the second pillar."

"That sounds reasonable enough." Answer Nazo Nazo Hakase. Aside from screaming 'hamina, hamina, hamina' all over the place, he still has his cool.

"But why pillars? And I am not alike! Closer inspection will reveal that there are a lot of differences between me and Gash!" You know who's talking.

"Because if I change the 'twin' with 'two' and the 'pillars' with 'towers' that would mean using copyrighted names. It would not be good."

**Moral issue: Don't use copyrighted names unless you have a thunder-barfing boy.**

"Well, any other ideas?"

Gash lifts his hand.

"So….no one have any other idea?"

Gash's veins on his head start to form a crossroad.

"Really? No one opposes the suggestion or suggest something more?"

Nazo Nazo Hakase lifts his hand slowly; it was halfway there until…

"Alright, Nazo Nazo Hakase. What's your suggestion?"

"Oh, Zeon, you the mighty One. Please endow me with powers you would traineth me to."

"Stop that kind of language, Gash. What's for?"

"For killing Kiyomaro."

"Cool."

_**After Zeon teaching Gash how to kill people. Hi everyone! I am the new narrator! Nice to see you!**_

"What is your suggestion, Nazo Nazo Hakase?" Ask Kiyomaro while making sure he has some yellowtails for Gash handy, perhaps about a hundred or six.

"How bout…Idemistavenferiga Band?"

"What does that idemis-yadayadayadayada means?"

"It means that it was so great. Isn't it cool?"

"Weird. I have a feeling you will say 'U-SO' again. Is it me or YOU really did lying?" Ask Kiyomaro with conviction. What does conviction mean? Wait. Let me take my dictionary first.

"Of course not! Hey Dufo! Stop looking at my mocking dictionary!" Nazo Nazo Hakase ran frantically, tried to stop Dufo to read the entry below idemistavenferiga but fail horribly. Upon seeing the dictionary, Dufo smiled. A bit. Just so little.

"Idemistavenferiga means 'idiot, mistreated, and foolish people. It is listed here." Nazo Nazo Hakase has no time to run.

"ZAKERUGA!"

While Nazo Nazo Hakase spent his remaining life to regret how bad his mouth can speak and how smelly his new charcoal-smelt uniform is, Gash has no idea why Sadako are in a painful state.

"Hey, Sadako, why are you looks…hmm…so in pain?" Ask Gash. A flying block of cement could be seen on the back screen, with a horse-like mamono on it.

"Meru meru meeeeeeee!"

"Is that Umagon?"

"Why, Sadako?" Ask Gash. He is unaware of the fact that the neck he's _still_ holding is _still _Sadako's neck.

"Nazo Nazo Hakase, if you lying about your lies and using this gibberish form of lie to lying about your damn lies that did nothing but lie to your usual "lie-ed" which is a horrible lie by the way, once again, I am not gonna lie that I gonna make you 'lay' on your death bed!" Terrorized Kiyomaro.

**Moral Issue: Don't use complicated words and wrong grammars for terrorizing attempts.**

"Repeat?"

"Kiyomaro! Why are Sadako in such a pain?"

"Gash! You can kill him now!"

"Oh goosssshhh…GASH! Rrrreeellleeeaaasseee your strang…le…ppplleeaasseee…"

"Wonder why my eye mascara didn't work so well? I never be able to seduce that hot guy by the side."

"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU AND WHY ARE YOU HERE! GO AWAY! GASH! YOU'RE STRANGLING SADAKO FOR SOME GODDAMN'S SAKE! AND YOU DAMN AUTHOR! THIS IS GETTING NOWHERE!" Screamed Kiyomaro like a lunatic. I have just learned this word. Lunatic. L-U-N-A-T-I-C. What the hell am I doing now?

"YOU ARE PROLONGING THIS GODDAMN TRASH OF A FIC JUST TO ATTAIN BETTER REVIEWS WHILE ALL YOU DOING ARE MAKING US DO SILLY THINGS AND BREAKING FOURTH WALL AGAIN AND AGAIN!" Oh god. Kiyomaro's mad. Alright. Continue the story.

_**All are undone. Back to where Dufo suggested 'Twin Pillars'. Hey! I am your new narrator! It was really nice to…**_

"STOP THAT DAMN!"

"So, how's about the name of the 'Twin Pillars'?" Ask Dufo. He has waiting for the decision and also the chance to fry some homo who tries to seduce him using eye mascara.

"Hey! That wasn't nice! I like girls just I like guys! I'm a hermaprodhite!" Do I type it right?

"Well, I think that name's –put any nice comments Zeon ever spoken in his life here-"

"Yeah, I think that name is –put the same thing you put above-"Said Gash. Complimenting Zeon's compliment.

"I think that's name is –put _YOUR_ comment here- and you are such a –put words you going to say if you complimenting a guy- guy, Dufo." Complimented Nazo Nazo Hakase.

"So, are all of you agreeing that this band's name is Twin Pillars?" Kiyomaro asks for the final decision. Everyone nodded. Including Sadako. Including Umagon. Including that homo guy who tries to seduce Dufo by using eye mascara.

"THREE OF YOU DON'T EVEN BELONG TO THIS BAND!"

"Well, so do we agree?"

"Yes. No doubt there!"

"Me too!"

"I am the one who suggested the name, so of course I AGREE!"

"Agree one hundred percent. Ersemplantes!"

"So, I guess, this shall be our name. Let's say this over the mike to make it sounds good." Kiyomaro offered one mike for each of the band members.

"SO, OUR NAME IS…." Everyone said in unison.

"TWIN…" Blackout.

I enjoy this thing.

**Author's Notes**: Well. That what you sow. I received no suggestions about the band's names, so I have to put one bad name. You can still change it if you suggested better names. Please review. Right now I am not forcing you to do it for the continuation of this fic, so review if your heart desires.

**Disclaimer**: Gash and friends belong to Makoto Raiku. Strangling an ethereal being is one impossible deed I wouldn't suggest you to do. Please put it on mind that the use of the word 'Ersemplantes' is forbidden unless under adult who packed themselves with ten years of war worth of weapons SUPERvision. This fic is presented by rankiribe, bag of beans you wouldn't even bother to see.

**End Notes**: Ersemplantes, as far as I know, has no meaning whatsoever, so feel free to use it. The disclaimer thingy is the thing I took from SonicWrecks.


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